Sunday, March 25, 2007
17th Birthday weekend...
It's been such a long weekend and I've wanted to blog about it since 3am last night. But unfortunately my wireless wasn't working in my room :(But anyways....so its really felt like it's been my birthday the whole weekend and I'm not complaining in the slightest!
It all started off on Friday. My dad got me out of school early to go shopping with him and my sister that was a lot of fun and worth missing 2 periods of study for let me tell ya! It was good to catch up with Becca and just having fun. Then we got home around 6 and I got my first present...it was a package all wrapped up in brown paper that had come in the post. Very intriguing!! I opened the brown wrapper to find another layer of wrapping paper..with the instruction on the envelope that I must not open the gift until Saturday and I didn't! It was from my dear Rach (Skelton) the whole way from good olde bonnie Scotland. Thank you so much, you made my day coz it was so exciting getting it in the post. Later that night I then had a visit from Miss Mckeown. We were both wrecked fromt the week's events so we just sat and watched Friends and Ugly Betty.
It was then off to bed before the big 'day'. At 8 am I started to get my first 'birthday texts' first one was from my dad (wait Skelton you sent me one at like 2 mins past 12 as well!LOL) then it was just loads of different friends and my phone didn't stop until like 7pm that night! So I was kinda only dosing from then until around 9.30 then it was time to get up and at it. I got ready and headed up to Saintfield for a Czech meeting. It was good fun and they made me smile (and blush) when Val walked in with a gorgeous chocolate muffin with a little pink candle in it, while the team sung happy birthday. It was so sweet. I just had time at the end to catch up with Val a little play with Erin and Talthia then I was off to my next 'appointment'.
I was getting my hair cut and coloured. Although it ended up I couldn't face getting it cut coz I like my length right now so I got my fringe chopped then I got it curled. I loved it. I was there until 3.30pm. Got home and mucked about a bit (which didn't impress mum). I reviewed the 'list of guests' to realise the numbers had changed quite substancely so my mum thought it would be courtious to inform the restuarant. We did so to discover they had wrote down the wrong time. Yes, I am completely blaming Giraffe (the restuarant) because I definately said 7.30!!! BOTH TIMES! Lol. But anyways after stressing a little over that we comprised for 7.15pm. But we had to leave the table at 8.45 which was no problem in the end.
A couple of girls where coming over to mine to get ready and then head up to the restuarant with me. So I got ready before they came to avoid the whole stress and fluster of getting ready all in the same room. After leaving my room in a substancal state (lol not really!) it was time to get on the move. On my way there I got a lovely text from Val which made me smile a lot (thanks dear!). The meal was lovely but I don't think anyone had a clear plate! Lol! We had photo sessions inside and outside. Taking pictures outside was a hoot....guys through food and cd's at us lol!! Check out our snazzy group photos here
Sarah Wilson et moi...we have the art of distraction in study down to a t!Lol
We then scooted over to my pad to take center stage for a lil sing star. It was a good laugh. We ate, we laughed, we chatted. It was imense and wasn't over until 2.45am this morning so I really squeezed every last minute out of it.
oday, I took cake to bible class...which made a delious breakfast for my fellow peers! Then I came home and Tim took me DRIVING! Ahh for the first time. And no matter what he says I'm proud of myself...I did not cause anyone damage or the car. I only stalled like 5 times (lol) and listened carefully to my intructions. It was very exciting and I laughed a lot.
I then only had time to check out my ipod for a bit (my dad got me an ipod nano and it's RED...part of the money goes to the (PRODUCT) Red charity). Then Tim took Claire (his fiance), Matthew and I to Rowallene for a walk and it was beautiful...its been a beautiful day.
It's been an amazing weekend thank you to you all who have made it so special. I have taken so many pictures this weekend its crazy!
Thank you for all the gifts from everyone and anyone...I really appreciate them and every single one of them had thought and effort behind them. Many have brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for a remeberable time guys!!
I love you all so much and I thank God everyday for ya'll
May you feel his peace always!
Labels: Birthday, Laughter, Photos, Presents, Thankfullness
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Gratitude & Grace
I really want to express my deepest thanks to all you guys out there who have helped me this past week. Yea, I'm going to name and shame ya's you all deserve it!! Lol....
Catherine, Lauren, Rach S, Paul and Val...
You have all been rocks that I have lent on when I was to afraid to lean on God. I really to appreciate all that you guys have said (some blunter than others...Cate!!teehee). But everything has helped me to hang in there and today I have actually felt a little better.
Your emails, prayers, comments, conversations have all strengthened me and I will treasure these moments forever. I really thank God that I have all you guys who are strong in him around me. I can just feel and see him working through ya'll and I'm truely greatful that you have been introduced into my life. It's a priviledge.
I love all of you.
So I'll give the lyrics thing a miss for a couple of posts coz I know that's all I've been doing recently and I'm really sorry guys but they are as close as I've been getting to the bible and truth recently!
I am forever in your debt guys and do not hesitate to ask me for help with anything.
I appreciate your thoughts and prayers and they will be returned.
God has shown his Grace to me this week through ya'll.
Labels: friends, God, Grace, life, Love
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Words,distracted,frustrated
If I could do one thing this week....it would be to lie in my bed and sleep. Seriously if there is someone who wants to give me that luxury as a birthday present it would be greatly appreciated. The main reason would be the simple fact that I'm not really very motivated right now...because I have tones on my mind and it won't shut up. Do you ever get that, you sit and nag at yourself about stuff and you don't know how to fix it? I've been doing that constantly since Saturday night....I can't seem to let go of the fact that I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I can hardly concentrate in school coz I'm thinking about all this stuff, not to mention the fact that I can hardly speak to my friends (coz I can't laugh...coz I feel too guilty to, it's as if someone has died...or maybe I'm/my soul is dying?) and my family well.....I'm not speaking to them and they aren't speaking to me.Another thing is I can't tell them about why I'm in this 'mood'. They are just guessin that I'm stressed with school work but right now I wish it was just that, coz at least I'd know how to fix it! Truth is I'm stuck. I can't get past these feelings and thoughts that are floating around in my head....I don't know where to go next. I am watching what I'm feeding my brain (good advice from a certain someone) so today in study....I only listened to the christian music that is on my ipod...the ratio between christian and normal music is completely wrong though!! Should get more on there. So while I was working I really was listening to the lyrics and came across some amazing lyrics and lines:
"Having faith in the long run is easier said than done
It’s hard to live out in the light of day
You’re bruised and you’re battered, your dreams have been shattered
Your best laid plans scattered over the place
Despite all your tendencies, God sees it differently
Your struggle’s a time to grow
And you, you’re a miracle, anything but typical
It’s time for the whole wide world to know" (Keep on shinin'-Third Day)
"How do you know, how do you know
What I’m suppose to be doing
Why do you go, why do you go on
Thinking you know my fate
So many times I’ve lost my step
But never lost my way
How do you know, how do you know
When I don’t know myself
You’re thinking that you’ve got all the answers
You’ve got my situation figured out
But you’re only seeing part of the picture
There’s so much more that you don’t know about"(How do you know? Third Day)
"Everybody has a wall to climb
That was built to guard the pain that holds them captive
Every smile that they would hide behind
Will try to mask the hurt beneath the surface" (Love heals your heart-Third Day)
"You want to be real
You want to be emptied inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will" (My Desire- Jeremy Camp)
When I feel expressive or creative I usually write....stories, poems or songs and I tried to express all this stuff today and I couldn't I just couldn't. I feel like a dummy. Just limp and numb. What should I do?
I know I need to let go
But sometimes its hard to find
The reason why to leave it behind
Guilt, anger, jealousy and pride
Have raised me up so high
Now I'm here on my knees
Crying out to you to heal me
Where do I go from here?
Wherever you go from here I will follow
I need to feel your loving embrace
Wrap me in your saving grace
Show me life again, in all its fullness
Show me your love
And let me show it to other people
There is a light at the end of my road
It's still shining
It's still loving
I'm still following
Ok. that was kinda random I just started typing there and that came out. I'm sorry guys for going on about this so much. I'm sure I'll be back to normal soon! Hopefully!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
All that you can't leave behind...
So I've realised that I'm on a journey. But not any ordinary journey, one that can be the most dangerous but also the safest at the same time. One that scares the hell out of me everyday but at the same time gives me a feeling of peace. It's a road that is hard to make out, there are sharp corners, twists, turns, bright lights (lol i hate it when people don't dip their lights!!) Lol. But one thing that is required for this journey is NO luggage.
I just have to be me. Gods' creation.
That's because I'm on a journey with God and if I depend on him... I'll finally reach my destination and hopefully my destiny?
But lately I've lost sight of my destination. I've been questioning why the hell am I even on this journey, and how have I got this far?
But this is ok. I think I'm growing. I'm finding my own way of thinking, instead of being spoon fed all the time. I'm growing out of my fake vener. I'm no longer going to 'stay inside the lines'. I want to be salt and light and if people don't like it why should I care? I'm here to bring glory to God's name not my own. I need to remember that I'm living for God...NOT people!
There are so many questions that I have but I need to think about it all first. Coz it's taken me a month to even talk 2 people (other than Catherine) about all this. (I find it quite difficult, I'd rather pretend everything is ok.) And I feel guilty about some things, but I'm trying to get rid of it before it eats me up.
So there are so many things right now that I feel I can't leave behind but over the next while I'm really going to have to leave coz otherwise I won't be able to move forward.
Thank you to the people who listened to me tonight and gave awesome advice! You really are gifts from heaven and I really appreciate all your help. I really hope I can repay you all sometime. I love you's!
Sorry for reference to U2 again but come on guys we all know they kick ass. You just have to listen and search for the meaning in their songs and you'll fall in love with them, trust me!
Labels: destiny, God, journey, life, U2
Friday, March 16, 2007
The Big One- Comic Relief
Every 30 seconds one child dies from malira in Africa
This is a disease that can be treated for a matter of pence...yes, PENCE!
For some parents the drive (or walk) to the nearest clinic or health centre is just too far.
I just watched footage of one of those children dying.
For £2.50 you can save a life, this will buy a mosquito net that will protect mothers and their children.
It's so easy to lose sight of what is happening int the world, it's so easy to just think of ourselves our own lives and our own problems.
But in comparison to the problems faced by Africans everyday...ours are nothing. We can wake up in the morning from our lovely comfortable beds, get a shower, get dressed and be confident that there is food in the cupboard.
It pains me to realise how luxurious our lives are.
Western countries are deluded.
I got very annoyed this week with the budget that has been set aside for the olympic games...it was something like £9 million or something? Well that could get a small country out of debt and save them from poverty. It could wipe out the horrific statistic of 1 child dying every 30 seconds.
Another thing that hurts and annoys me is the fact that our church doesn't seem to be doing much to help these countries such as Africa. Comic Relief is not known as a Christian charity. WE should be showing our love in a practical way. That's what God wanted.
I'm going to do something about it. I want to change someones life.
Question is.......Do YOU?
Be the change.
| Crumbs from your t... |
**Tribute to my dear granny Jean who passed away 5 years ago today**
Labels: Africa, change, perspective
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Comforting....
You Never Let GoEven though I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I´m caught in the middle
Of the storms of this life,I won´t turn back;
I know You are near.
And I will fear no evil,
For my God is with me.
And if my God is with me,Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
O no, You never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
O no, You never let go,In every high and every low
O no, You never let go, Lord You never let go of me.
And I can see a light that is comingfor the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end to these troubles,
But until that day comes,
We´ll live to know You here on the earth.
Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on,
And there will be an end To these troubles,
But until that day comes,
Still I will praise You, Still I will praise You.
Bible reference: Psalm 23 Matt and Beth Redman c2006 Thankyou Music (administered worldwide by EMI CMG Publishing, excluding the UK which is administered by Kingswaysongs.com)
I've been listening to this song all week and thinking about the lyrics. Then last night I went to mannafest and they sang it in the praise and it was so amazing. It was like God was really reasuring me that its true. I find it so difficult to believe that even when I mess up God is still there and when I'm going through storms in life he is there being my life boat...even if I don't want to be saved at that time, which is what usually happens coz I don't think I'm worthy of being saved and that I brought on these storms myself. Which I guess is true sometimes. So I encourage you guys to listen and think about the lyrics of this song. Even if you don't really like Matt, but I think the lyrics of his songs are really powerful.
Today, I've had a lot thrown at me. In bible class one of our elders came to speak about the 2nd coming of Christ in. And it was tough stuff, and there are so many tricks we could fall into just like Adam and Eve did...so this makes me more determind to be stronger in my faith with God so I can stand this testing. My mum has been giving me a hard time recently and I just don't know what to do, how to help her etc and she doesn't seem to notice that she is making me even more stressed! And herself. Life is difficult. But I just have to remember this simple fact: I've choosen the good life not the easy life!
O, Rach and Rose, you guys didn't miss much at mannafest, of course the worship was fantastic as usual but loads of people where outraged with the talk. I shall explain when I see ya's!
Labels: God, life, Matt Redman, Worship
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Five favourite quotes
Ok, so I have been tagged by Miss. Rachael Davidson (www.watchmesoar.blogspot.com) to post five of my favourite quotes. Hmm I wonder if I even have one? Sorry for the lateness of posting this!!I'm not great with the whole quotation thing, I guess I don't really think about it, I know I have wee random ones written down somewhere but I can't remember where!!Lol.
So of course the first one has gotta be from a total legend...
"Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods." C.S Lewis
I listen to music all the time therefore a lot of my quotes are from lyrics....
" I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefinedI'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned." Natasha Bedingfield
If any of you know me then you know that I'd have to have U2 in here somewhere, it's difficult to only pick one but this song has been playing in my mind lately..
"I have spoke with the tongue of angels
have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running
You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it."U2 (Bono)
"Ask not what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive... then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Martin Luther King Jr.
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." Mark Twain
FuNnIes...
"I love carpet....I love desk....I love lamp. I love lamp, I love lamp."
"I ate a big red candle."
"One time I ate fibre glass, my stomach was itchy, it wasn't cotton candy like that guy said."(written from memory) Brick Tamaland from Anchorman-The Legend of Ron Burgandy
"Sometimes our eyes decieve us, but they don't deceive God."- Matthew Jackson, my 8 year old brother.
"I get something out of them. When I feel down, I like to treat myself. Clothes never look any good, and food just makes me fatter, but shoes always fit." -Rose Feller aka Toni Collette from the movie In her Shoes.
"There's no sense in love." Take That
"There must be more than this. O breath of God come breathe within." Tim Hughes.
"You're not so special that you're the only one to get left out!" UCB notes adapted by my dearest friend Catherine.
I could go on now that I've started, things just keep popping into my head but I will resist!Lol!
Hope the rest of your week goes well guys!
If you can think of anymore quotes then post them in a comment, I'd love to hear them!
xXx
Labels: inspiration, quotations