Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Slightly Stressed would be an understatement
I guess the title sort of summaries how I've felt this week. It's been hectic and I hate studying already, and its only been a week. eeekkk!I had a little freak out yesterday. Nearly cried. I just don't get it I mean you have to learn stuff off then reguritate it in exams!! How does that determine if you're smart or not?? I mean, in geography you go through 6 topics and have to know them in detail then the paper only last for an hour!! I mean come on, how much of what you've learnt is going to come up?!
Right now I'm so thankful I took on e-media coz I mean there aren't any exams- woohoo!! Imagine what I would be like if I actually had 4 subjects to study for. It would be a total nightmare. Can't wait to say goodbye to geography. Even though I do love the people in my class and will miss them! Lol.
Today was so stressful. I had to get up and head into school, but I couldn't really sleep last night so I was still really tired. Up at 6.30am headed out to school. I didn't get left until 11.30am coz my friends had to talk 2 teachers about duke of ed. Then we headed into Belfast. Got to starbucks, just casually drinking coffee, when I looked at my watch and realised it was 12.10pm and I had planned 2 get a bus at 12.30pm and still had to get a birthday present! Ahhh! Coz I needed to be home for my driving lesson at 2.30pm. Got an express at 1pm but had to desperately call round people to see if they could pick me up in Crossgar. Otherwise I wouldn't have been on time for my lesson, coz it takes so long to walk from Crossgar to my house. Then I had a rather large parcel as well.....!! Lol! So I finally scrounged a lift of my best friends mum, which then turned out to be her aunt who picked me up! (someone will be getting chocolates!) Flip, then I was in and only had time for lunch. Then got one of my best phonecalls of the day and it was Nigel (driving instructor) saying he was running 15mins late and I could just hear the hallieua chorus in my head. Woohoo!
I love driving. It's emmense.
When Nigel arrived I headed towards the passenger side (coz it's only my 2nd lesson) and he was like 'where are you going?' LOL! Today, I had to tackle pulling in on a hill while 2 tractors and a van passed me. Then I had to turn into a really awkward junction and pass a car that was parked at the same time! But it was ok I handled it. (anyone who has been at the derryboy crossroads will understand my trial). Phew! Then I had to go on the Beechview Road and if you've ever been you will know that the Pikestone end of the road is like a flippin' lane so I was like 'Nigel, what if I meet a car on this road? I will freak out!' He just said 'Don't worry there's piles of room for two cars. And if it gets too scarey I will just jump out the passenger door!' Now that did make me laugh I must say!! I love him he's so nice and patient! So I'm out tomorrow and heading to the wee town of Killyleagh...woohoo, watch out! I'm having a little crash course which is all part of the bant!
Well my dears I am SO SO SO exhausted so I shall turn in.
Labels: Driving, Laughter, Nigel, stress, Studying (or lack off)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Random artistic craving...
The past few days I've been wanting to paint coz I've actually really missed doing art this year...I know it's meant I haven't been as stressed but I still do love painting and studying things.One of my favourite things that I painted last year where lilies. And as it so happened my mum had got lilies from my dad for her birthday (thanks dad!) I was so happy. So tonight I gave myself the benefit of the doubt, seeing I only got off for study leave yesterday but actually had to go in for 10.30 today for a geography revision class (grrr Hartwell and her love of the Waugh textbook!!Completely and utterly dropping geography!) Basically that meant I didn't get anything done today coz I couldn't have been bothered after being at school and then going out for lunch (a friend and I had important matters to discuss so that is permitted!!Lol) Anyway back to the point I started to paint at 7esh and didn't finish until 9.30esh!! I know and when you see the painting you'll be like how on earth did she spend 2 1/2 hours on that. Well I agree.
Of course during this time I was listening to the best bands EVER! Third Day and Switchfoot. Third day definatley rules but Switchfoot has some equal qualities!! Lol. If anyone is interested Third Day have a blog...it's pretty funny and so cool to see what they're getting up too! Lol. http://thirdday.blogs.com/third_day_weblog/
But I'm going to show y'all anyways!!
Well I'm away off to either watch a dvd or just go to sleep...getting up at 7.30 tomorrow, going for a walk, having breakfast, then studying! Just incase you wanted to know!!
Peace and Love
Labels: forms of art?, painting, school, study leave, Switchfoot, Third Day, waste of time?
Monday, May 14, 2007
Between the Trees...
I warn you this may be rather vague as I couldn't find a clip of the movie....Last night I headed up to yf in Saintfield....yes, shock horror I missed a choir practice but if I'm totally honest I think it was so much more worth while, coz today I haven't been able to stop thinking about the dvd that Paul showed us. It was by Rob Bell and as far as I can remember it was something to do with Nooma-Trees 003. Incase you want to try and find it....I've looked on youtube but no luck but you can see a little clip at www.nooma.com. But I shall give it my best shot from what I can remember from last night coz I was really wrecked so my concentration levels were rather low (due to the fact I'm still not off for study leave!)
Anyways...it showed Rob planting two trees- one to signify the one at the heart of the garden of Eden in Genesis and another in Revelation when God would create a new heaven and a new earth. He went on to say that we are living in between these two trees...but how are we living between these two trees? Are we going to leave fingerprints over God's world? Will our life make a difference, leave an impact? There was so much crammed into those 15mins but this is what I've been thinking about today...
As we live our lives betweent the trees, do the daily tasks that we carry out everyday hold any meaning? Are we just doing things for the sake of doing them-should we take this attitude? I'm in two minds about this, i mean how can the same rountine every day make a difference? Or is it just the fact that we are trying to live it to the full with God by our sides everyday that makes these meaningless tasks become meaningful?
Another thing that has been on my mind these past couple of weeks is faith. I've came to realise that faith is a long journey that takes a lifetime to master. Wait, do we ever master it? How do I witness to other people when I'm judged for following him? I know that God loves everyone (its just so hard for me to do the same) and that everyone deserves chances. But how many? How many times have I to be made a fool of? Yes, it's for God but do we/I have to sit and take it? Or can we forget that these people are our responsibility? All I want to be right now is Gods, and serve him in the ways he wants. I want to be able to leave meaningful fingerprints on the earth for God (or are they God's fingerprints working through mine??) But does that mean that I have the responsibility to witness and (as much as I hate these terms) convert, lead to Christ everyone that I come into contact with?
A lot of questions, if you have any thoughts or comments I will gladly accept them!
Labels: Faith, God, Rob Bell, Trees
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Family
As I'm getting older I understand so much more and the past two years I've realised my family isn't perfect.Today more than ever I know this is a fair, just and true comment. I guess it's because people aren't perfect. Duh!
My sister and I just had an arguement. That's the only way we communicate...there is no loving relationship between us at all. I mean I do love her....but she infurates me mainly because I see the potential of who she could be but is too stubborn to be. She really hurts me more than she knows or cares....with the one cold hard look, she tells me she doesn't love me.
We don't do anything together. She's never here. She's always at her good for nothing boyfriend's house. But when we manage to go out for lunch or whatever it's only because I've bribed her by saying I would pay.
One of the main problems is that she isn't a Christian. And I don't know how to act around her coz I know she'll judge me. But she seems to be incapable of actually just being nice. This is something I find hard coz I feel I care for so many people so it's natural for me to go out of my way to do things for other people, no matter the consequence. But she is totally opposite. Sometimes I think she is tormenting us for fun. With her smug little smile.
Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to make her look bad to make me look good. Not at all.
I'm just stuck and don't know what to do.
I guess I should really talk to God more about it!
I'd really appreciate your prayers. As awful as it sounds Rebecca has caused our family but especially my parents a lot of heartache. And I hate it when my mum cries.
Thanks.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Amazing emense daight*!
I was at the Third Day concert in Whitewell and my gosh they did a mighty show. But lets start the story at the beginning!!!!
So Lauren and I decided we would get out off school early because we thought that the doors opened at 6pm so we had to leave at 5pm then. So we won't have anytime to get changed. Making get out 3 periods early the best option (especially when you're missing double geography!) Ok, so we meet my mum at forestside....in Sainburys and then spotted one of our teachers so we had to hide! Was so so funny!! Finally we got left there and we got home to get ready. Then I get a phone call at 16.55:
"Rachel the doors open at 7pm not 6pm."
"Lauren shut up I checked the tickets" [Ages ago]
"No seriously Rachel look at your tickets."
[Laughing] "Erm ok maybe your right..."
"Ok, I'll pick you up at about 5 to 6 then instead."
I was thankful for this mishap coz I was able to go for a power nap...which was desperately needed! Then we were on our way. Queuing was quite fun....a lot of random pictures and conversations.
Then we were in! WOOHOO and the adrinaline rises.
Waiting....waiting....waiting........
Let us present Brian Houston...............what???? BRIAN HOUSTON
We screamed so so much! We did not have a clue that he was going to be there!
He made me laugh and cry. Totally amazing so the excitment levels reached around 9.56!!!
10 minute interval.....
Arrived back with the opening title- Tunnel...... such a great choice of song to start with.
The hour flew in and it was such a shame it was over. I could have stayed ALL night.
They played old and new. Fantastic.
We went out and I purposely didn't get my mum to leave until the last song was over so that we would have time to hang out.
I bought the new CD. Then placed myself right outside the backstage door. Which I wanted to sneak into but Lauren wouldn't allow me.
I guess we where there for about 20-30mins. The moment I had been waiting for came....
I seen David Carr (Third Day drummer) coming out the door. I freaked out. I was beside myself. Just ask Lauren.
I then emptied the contains of my handbag to try and find the pens I had packed earlier coz I came prepared with notebook and all!!! Woohoo!
I went over ALONE! Yes Lauren was very proud. The conversation went like this.....
"Hey I'm Rachel." [shaking hands]
"Hey nice to meet you."
"Would you mind signing my notebook?"
"Of course not."
"Do you need a pen?"
"No no I can use this one." [after my stressful pen hunting attempts!]
[As he wrote] "I'm a drummer to ya know, I've been playing for 4 years now." [thats the first time I've called myself a drummer!]
"Thats really cool. Sorry how do you spell your name?"
[Long pause and Rachel's head is totally blank!]
"Ehhhhh....."
[David] "Is it R-a-c-h..... e-l?"
"Ehhhh... yea" [awkward laugh]
"Thanks so much."
"No problem. God bless!"
"Bye!"
AHHHH he wrote Rachel, Keep Drumming....David. I will act this out if any of you wish coz there is more to the conversation plus it is way more fun....
I will post photos but right now I'm wrecked.
Had GB training 2night! Yuck. But plus side....I'm now a fully-pledged Sub-officer! O-yea! Authority baby!
Peace and Love
*Defination of daight- day and night together!!
Labels: Best day of life, David Carr, Fun, Music, Star struck, Third Day, Whitewell
Monday, May 07, 2007
Bag packing at sexy Sainsburys....
Today I helped out a friend from school called Sarah with fundraising for her mission trip in the Summer. She is going to Pamoja in Kenya to build a house for a woman's husband who was killed and also to work in an orphange with really sick kids who can't even be adopted because they are so ill. Throughout the day there where a variety of different people that we served. Some completely ignored that we existed and completely turned their back to us and grabbed their purchases as they went down the convayer (spelt wrong I know) belt and quickly snuck them into bags. Others where really enthusiastic and asked what the mission was for etc. One woman stands out from the rest, and her words have remained in my head all day... it was this middle-aged, black haired, smokers complextion lady with a strong 'belfasty' accent. She looked as tough as bricks. But when we finished packing her bags... she gave a donation and said back to us...."Thank you for your kindness." I couldn't believe it, I was gob smacked. I think it was the fact that I felt bad that she had just donated and she said 'your kindness' when she had just been as equally kind. Lol!! Without going into a lot of detail... can I ask for some prayer. I'm finding my home church a real sturggle right now and I'm asking God to reveal to me what he wants me to do. Coz my parents aren't being accomidating at all, they won't even listen. So I'm leaving this up to God to show me what my next step is. Right now I can feel myself burning out and I can't blame my church for all of that...and I don't but it isn't helping either. I'm asking loads of questions and I've been told a lot that that's ok. Today I took Val's advice and went for a walk with my ipod (playing third day- concert thursday night- whoop whoop!!) and I talked to God. Not just in my head.. but out loud. It was weird at the start and I know that a couple of times I got strange looks from cars passing by coz I didn't hear them coming with my music on...but who cares if I'm crazy?! It was good to just say things out loud....it just released so much and I'm so greatful that I used this advice! Thanks Val! It's been an emotional weekend and I know that God has and is making me stronger. He is moulding me even though I think he isn't here. And I do wonder sometimes whether I'm thinking and speaking to someone who really isn't there. But I know that it's ok that I'm not coping because I can rely on God so much more even with these doubts. So whether you pray out loud with God by yourself or in your head I'd appreciate all of them!
Only 61 days 2 hours and 21 minutes until Mission Czech!! Whoop whoop!
Well done to everyone who took part in the marathon today! Good job guys!! I was thinking about you all day!!
P.S does anyone know how to fix ipods?? Mine has frozen and has been frozen since 1.23pm!! I tried holding the middle button and menu for 10secs as this is meant to restart it. And I tried connecting it to the computer and the computer realises that it's connected but doesn't bring up i-tunes. I started to restore it but then i-tunes froze!! grr!! help!!
Peace.
Labels: God, i-pods, Kenya, Kindness, Prayer
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Planning for the future....
Hey there.....The moment has come for me to step up to something that I have been dreading ever since the letters UCAS where muttered.....the Personal Statement. To be honest it hasn't been as painful as I thought. But it's early days I've only written my first draft and I haven't handed into be ridiculed by my teacher. The best is yet to come or rather worst?! I've also discussed uni stuff with mum tonight and I think I'm going to stay at home to study but try to take a sandwich course so that I can be away for a year.
Apart from that my week has improved. I'm liking school again and actually getting revision done even though it blows.
Our holidays are going to be booked by tomorrow or Saturday and we are heading to L.A, Vegas, Grand Canyon and Arizona!! I am totally skyed!!!! Whoop whoop. But there is a down side....I'll only be home from Czech 4 days then I leave. Then not back until between 21st-23rd August. So I won't see anyone from school and church etc like the whole summer! Score!! Just kiddin. Dad says I'm getting worse than him when it comes to travelling... 22nd May I'm going to Manchester for the weekend. Then Summer Madness from 29th-2nd June (which I may not stay for the whole time), Czech from 8th-26th July, USA 30th-21st (esh) then Rome from 30th September-4th October!! (And I went to Brussels in December) Travelling is now slowly taking over my life....but I'm happy with that! Lol!!
I have loads to report about other thoughts but I'm tired and got to learn stuff about early church baptism for a timed essay 2morrow!! woohoo!!
Have a great weekend with all this beautiful weather. I got burnt today while we where having a bbq! Sweet! Lol!!
I love the Beatles!!
Labels: sunny days, The Beatles, thoughts, travelling, UCAS