Thursday, July 05, 2007
Dreaming
We leave for the Czech Republic in like what, 3 days?! Wow! That's exciting. See how I'm avoiding the word scary here?! No I've decided to look at it this way....it's an exciting adventure that I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to do over again so I gotta make the most of every second. While keeping in mind the 'golden rule' (i guess you could put it) 'you can't make it tough enough for me to complain.' Isn't that right Paul?! Lol.I guess the real reason I'm blogging is to share the dream that I had last night. Which surprisely enough involved me being in Czech! Basically, my dad died while I was over there. And I couldn't decide what to do, whether to go home or stay. Coz I knew dad would want me to continue God's work but my mum would want me home for the funeral. Even typing that is making me well up! The dream was just so vivid. Like I was really there. And the funeral was really happening. I remember seeing all the people, some of them I was thinking 'what the hell are you here for?' I.E the ones who screwed my dad's business over right under his nose. This is totally random but I remember (this must have been while I was still in Czech) just crying on Paul's shoulder for ages. It was as if my body was draining every single drop of tears out of me. After that its a blur, I think I woke up and was like its not real, its not real.
If that happened I wouldn't even know where to begin to pick up the pieces. If my dad just suddenly wasn't there. What would I do? He's my dad, the one who pokes fun at me but at the same time builds me up. I can't live without him. God I'm not ready to let go of him so please don't let this happen.
Right now I'm having a really deep spiritual conversation with a girl I went to Saintfield with coz this guy from our class- James Stewart was just in a car wreck and has been in a coma until today. This has sparked a flame with her and she's just pumping out questions to me. I hope I'm doing ok. Maybe God is preparing me for something?! Hmm...I wonder?!?
She's asked:
"r u content wif ur life?"
To which I replied:
"yea most of the time but like everyone I get frustrated coz I just dont understand. but its coz im not focusing on God's will for my life but my own."
She said
"yeh i jst didnt fink ther wos ne1 that wos content wif ther life n didnt wnt a bit more"
I said:
"im not gonna lie of course there are times and its just when im whollowing in self pity that i feel like that but its only a flashing moment and then its gone. life is too precious to dwell on something that might or might not happen"
Then she asked:
"do u fink god sends ppl to hell that r genuinely nice people havent murdered ne1 stolen nefing bt mayb dnt do everyfing by that bible lyk dey hav sex b4 marriage or sumit."
To which I replied:
"ok thats difficult to answer but i will give it stab. God is a just and fair God. if he has laid the oppurtunity before anyone to become a follower of his after a while he will stop asking. by what the bible says sin is not held in levels. no sin is worse than the other, they are all equal. and being 'good/nice' cannot get you to heaven. It's God's saving grace and salvation not any of our good works. he will ask 'what did you do with my son?'
She said:
"rach that reli means sumit to me. im not bn funny ere bt hav u seriously ever thot of bn like a minister or sumit n tlkin to ppl about god bcos ive gone to gb all my life n wnt sunday skul yet nothins ever made so much sense as wot u jst z."
And so the questions keep on coming. You have know idea how excited I am for what God is doing for her. This is one of my Saintfield Sweeties and it'd be so awesome to see what God has install for her.
I never blogged about this at the time but a couple of weeks ago I went away with two of the most amazing girls I've ever met (Sarah and Megan from Welly boots) to my caravan to celebrate our exams finishing. We crammed a lot into 3 days and I've created a sort movie of the main highlights. Coz we took loads of photos, I mean I filled my memory card with photos and movie clips from those three days. Check out the video thing and let me know what ya think. This is what I've been working on ALL night.
Please pray guys for my Saintfield sweetie-Courtney, for Bubba and for Czech!
Peace&Love
Labels: Crying, Dad, Excitement, Rollercoaster, Sadness
