Friday, August 10, 2007
Moving on
This is my last night here in L.A.It's been fun but not without it's troubles too.
Loneliness has crept into my view.
I feel empty.
Again.
I've had way too much time to think this week and I realised through mass brain washing from good olde disney...that....I don't have a dream for my life. There's nothing I've kinda grasped onto for my life. I don't have a goal right now. As the result date grows closer I begin to panic, coz I know when I go back I'm gonna have teachers (career ones in particular) breathing down my neck for me to make decisions. But I don't know what to decide!!!!! AGGGH! Sorry, ok don't worry about that now.
I wish I had a dream that I could see through.
But anyways a little random story about today....We went to Laguna beach (pretty near Newport beach) It's a beautiful little coastal town, great restuarants and quinte little boutiques with one of a kind, unqiue items. Matthew wanted to go to the beach so dad and I left mum to it (or should I say mom?!). We where walking along and spotted a Presbyterian church...then two people (one who looked like the minister) talking to a lady who was filling in a questionnaire type thing.
I said to dad 'there's a nice place to have a church meeting, it looks like she is planning to take communion, get baptised or become a member.' To which he replied saying...'when are you going to become a member?' Ha, I'd been waiting for this question all year. I said 'I don't want to become a member coz it'll make me feel like I'm stuck and leave to go somewhere else.' He replied 'you can become a member and leave whenever you wish.' Long pause. I shot back rather defensively 'Well I'm not going to become a member just 'coz you want me to.' End of conversation.
Tomorrow we leave for Phoenix again where we will get off the plane and drive down to the Grand Canyon for 4-5 days. I really hope I have internet access, coz signal for moblies aren't great! Please let there be some way to communicate with ya'll back home!!! Sorry this post has been rather scaddy and all over the place.
Labels: crazy, Dreams, Holiday, L.A, lonely
On 07:37, Rach J let go.
