Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Ponderings. Monasticism. Hayfever. Missing you.
***60TH POST***Why hello everyone.
I haven't posted in a while....as I hear you all take a gasp and sigh of relief! So all I've been up to really is studying. Day in, day out. On the odd occasion I take breaks and watch something on TV. What's my secret I hear you ask? Well listening to Christian music while I study. It helps me to perservre most of time anyways and praying pretty hard. I'm hoping that as I'm making notes the stuff is going in my head and staying there. I mean I could go off on a little rant about how ridiculous it is to have exams. How do they examine how smart you are? It tests how well your able to remember and reguratate information!! Agggghhhhghghgh! But anyways I shall save that for another day. Or when I'm on my next driving lesson. Poor Nigel having to listen to me rant on while his life is in my hands! Lol!! Encouraging right? Ha!
Today I was studying my R.S course and in particular monasticism. Yep thats right all about the monks. Ok to be fair I do have to state there are two types (well 3 but sure!). Soliarty and semi-soliarty but how are they helping anyone??? All they're doing is seperating themselves from the world and it's bad influences. How can they build up character if they just stay in a holy huddle? Ok their relationship with God will be really strong.....but what about life experience? Or reaching out and touching others? And besides where there are people...there is sin! Right? They just seem like a cult and to be honest kinda creepy! Sorry for such strong views and apologies to any monks out there!
I'm feeling pretty awful right now too. Either my hayfever is really bad this year or I've been dosed with a cold. Option 2 is what I think is correct, mother begs to differ. But my head feels like its about to fall off, and my nose, throat and ears really hurt plus the strangest of them all....my skin is really sensitive on my face so if I touch it, it hurts! :( But ok, there is a silver lining....I got to go driving tonight which was fun...I must be getting better coz I didn't come back as stressed.
I just put a new song on my myspace profile....and I love it. Heard it on the radio the other day. And I know its sad that I like this chick but she's got attitude and got me through a lot one summer in Canada. Avril Lavigne...When your gone. It's got amazing lyrics and I love the gentle piano scales running through it....gives me chills down my spine (or has someone just walked over my grave, that must be it coz I'm typing from beyond the grave ;) ) But it does bring back sad memories of stuff I went through one holiday a couple of years ago. Along with that it makes me miss my family who live in Canada. (Ok, I don't know why coz yea its a love song but whatever!) I don't know when I'm going to see them next. I just can't help feeling that we're just not connected at all. Each one of them has a place in my heart it just feels like there's no room in their hearts for me anymore....or ever? I just wonder will my relationship fail with my older brother once he gets married just like my mum's and her brother's did? I mean my mum never speaks her mind when shes annoyed at Uncle Sam!! Instead rants and raves over here and gets her blood pressure up. But anyways....they're more than likely moving to Germany coz of Uncle Sambo's job again and all everyone is saying is....'you can see them more often.' thats bull coz they won't want to make the effort 2 see us (only Auntie Sara's family...grrr) also I'm not very enthusised about going to Germany anyway. Been before and it's nothing spectacualr! Lol.
Ok so I told myself I wouldn't rant but that's all I've done this whole post! Very very sorry!
But I shall leave you with Avrils lyrics........
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk awayI count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
YeahWhen you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
Labels: Avril Lavigne, Family, Music, studying
On 23:23, Rach J let go.
